Worry Warts

Yes! Ok, fine! I admit it! I am a worry wart. I worry constantly because I am a control freak and like to know exactly what's going to happen when, who will be there, what they will be wearing.... ok, not really. God has been teaching me recently exactly what he meant in Matthew 6:25-32. Take today for example, (I could use that spiffy little "i.e." deal, but I won't) I had a test in Government. Well, the last test I got a 68 on. The highest grade was a 78, so it was a crappy test. Well, I was freaking out all yesterday and today about this test and I was planning my time so I would have enough time to study everything, which of course I got behind schedule and didn't get to everything, then I left these articles in the car when I went to class that I was going to finish reading. So I'm feeling like I'd just rather sink deeper into the couch in the lounge room and not get up until everyone else is done with the test. But, I braved my way into the room, up the stairs to my seat and kept my head up the whole time. As a result (not by my own studying b/c it was severely lacking), I think I only missed 3 questions. (The reason I know this is because we went over the test afterwards) that means I would get an A! So... This is what I learned: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for today is its own trouble" (Matt 6:31-32).  The more I worry about stuff and the more I try to plan stuff out or predict the outcome of a particular event, I place myself in the position to not be blessed by God. If I let my anxiety take precedence over seeking him daily, I am in effect saying, "Ok, Lord, you just skip me today on your daily blessings distributions, I'm too busy doing your job". Yeah, sound a little too far fetched? I don't think so. 

So, I've learned my lesson. Next time I have a test, I will not be stressing myself out about it, I'll just prepare for the trial by studying. That's a plan, but it's not doing God's job. 

:)

Are You My Friend?

So here's the deal... One of the attributes I'm working on these days is friendliness.  Like, not tell my brother that he look like a giant, walking praying mantis when I feel like lashing out at someone, like smiling at some random person just because it's Wednesday, or like thanking my Dad for toting me all across town cause I don't have my license yet.  It's called LIFE.  We interact everyday with people, so we need to have people skills.  I used to not know what that really meant.  Instead of just existing and getting by with whatever curve ball is thrown your way, make the most of it.  Make people smile, laugh, giggle, and most of all, feel loved.  That all ties in with Friendliness.  Being someone's friend means more than just talking at them... telling them your sorrows, your pain, but rather listening to theirs, or simply sending an I LOVE YOU their way.  It means more than you could possibly know.  Believe me, I've been on the receiving side and it makes a world of difference.

Then there's the problem of being too friendly.  Like that guy who wanted to "study".  "Yeah, just put your # in my phone, we'll study sometime".  Guess what.  We haven't studied.  But he's txted me plenty.  

SURPRISE!

Yeah, I have to learn to say 'NO, not a chance bub'.  *sigh* But you see, I'm into extremes.  Extreme friendliness, or extreme UNfriendliness.  It's hard for me to find an inbetween.  But alas, I MUST.  There is no other way.  I have to learn to stand my ground while keeping a peaceful, light, funny, attractive appearance.  

Yeah right.  Let me fly to the moon first.   

Anywho,  

Wow, I just had a really cool thought.  My mom has two vases of roses on our buffet.  One vase holds dying roses, the other really pretty live roses.  Does this mean something?  Like, can I apply that concept to my life?  Is it painting a picture, stating a fact, drawing attention to something that I can't see?  I don't know.  But it's 11:30 pm and I have to get some sleep.  I'll ponder on it and let you know later.

Beware...

This is the first of many posts.  Don't judge the entirety of my character by the contents of this blog.  The reason I named this blog The Rose and Its Thorns is because of my personality.  I am a brutally honest person.  Well, I can be.  Usually I hold it in, but it's a definite possibility.  :D  I have been described as a talented person (their words not mine), but I also have my faults.  I don't conceal my faults as best as I wish I could, but I do try.  I have a heart that belongs to my Jesus.  My desire is to know him and to use my gifts and talents to serve him and bring him glory.  

S. Rose

P.S.  If you are looking for an intellectual blog, this is not the place to be.  I am one of the most random persons you will ever come across and not prone to intellectual thinking.